I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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