It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
