Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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