i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
