just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
