i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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