Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
