Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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