2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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