Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
