I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
