dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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