guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
