How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
