dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
