just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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