yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
