At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
where does the pee come out of this thing
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am available for nakedness
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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