i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
