after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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