chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Still dying that you shit outside
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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