i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
