Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All the doctor said was why
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize