i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
