Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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