I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
50% drunk capacity currently
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
