She's JV to your varsity
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
