I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
