I got chris browned last night
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
