Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
