I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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