god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Boobs speak an international language.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
