The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
