at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
