that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
