I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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