Me too!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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