i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
