I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
