Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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