Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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