I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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