A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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