Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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