I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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