I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize