I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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