Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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