He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
