proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
