yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We were destined to go to rehab together
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
