I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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