you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
