dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
