do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
