everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
