at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
