jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
